Lindsay Lohan Says She Won't Be A Complete Woman Unless Ex-Girlfriend Samantha Ronson Is Back In Her Life

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 16 February 2014

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Ever since spending three months at The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic Lindsay Lohan has said that she is trying to keep on the straight and narrow.

She noted that she has pretty much stopped her 24/7 partying ways and is concentrating on trying to act more like the Olsen twins.

Lindsay said that she realized that she did not want people to start referring to her as the female version of Justin Bieber.

Lohan recently spoke with Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Carolina Chipotle at a Flamboyant Tortilla Restaurant in West Hollywood.

She confessed to Miss Chipotle that in regards to her sex life she really and truly misses being with her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

Lilo said that she still yearns and pines for Ronson every single day. She revealed that in her mind she will not be a complete woman unless Samantha is back in her life.

Miss Chipotle asked if she was saying that she is still leaning towards a same-gender relationship.

Lohan giggled and said that she has always dabbled in the world of lesbionics but she has just managed to suppress it in order to get straight parts in movies and commercials.

In A Related Story. Lindsay confessed that Adam Lambert recently told her that if he was a girl he would be all over her like ketchup on French Fries.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more