Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

image for Cheryl Cole Desperately Reaching Out To Ex-Boyfriend Derek Hough
Simon Cowell has said that Cheryl Cole has one of the best looking bodies he has ever seen. (Photo courtesy of Derek Hough).

NEW YORK CITY - Cheryl Cole visited the Big Apple to see about a shoe modeling opportunity that she had been offered.

The English singer has been keeping a bit of a low profile since she left America after getting dumped from Simon Cowell's X-Factor and then shortly after that getting dumped by her boyfriend, Derek Hough, known as "The Dancing Dude" on the reality dance show Dancing With The Stars.

There were stories that appeared in two British news agencies Tickety Boo News and Ta Ta For Now News that the woman known as Cheeza had gone back to her ex-husband Chelsea soccer player Ashley Cole.

Cheryl had divorced Ashley due to his alleged womanizing ways along with the fact that he had criticized her cooking by saying that everything she cooked tasted like duck.

The ex-Mrs. Cole herself had been linked to will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas, as well as to Keith Richards lead guitarist with the Rolling Stones, and Covington Buckingshire bass player for the heavy metal London band The Dungeon Dwellers of Windsor Castle.

Cheryl has denied being involved with all three individuals although she did say that she thought that Buckingshire of The Dungeon Dwellers of Windsor Castle has a wonderful come hither smile.

Buckingshire reportedly remarked to a reporter for Tickety Boo News that he finds Cheryl to be very attractive but he added that he does have a bit of a hard time dealing with her Geordie accent.

A close unnamed friend of Ms. Cole noted that the singer is still feeling some ill affects from the trip that her and her then boyfriend Derek Hough took to Tanzania in which she contacted malaria by being bitten by a pregnant female mosquito.

She spent some time recuperating at London's Monty Python General Hospital.

Shortly after that she traveled to the United States where she signed a $16 million [£10.1 million U.K.] contract to appear as a judge on Simon Cowell's X-Factor. But she was fired after the first show was taped.

She then was to have appeared in the cable television show Vampire Vixens Gone Wild with Kristen Stewart and Vanessa Hudgens but bowed out so that she could return back to England.

And now reports are that she misses Derek Hough and desperately wants to return to America to be with him.

Derek Hough was told about Cole's desire to be with him and he remarked that she really does not need to waste any money on a plane ticket.

He grinned and stated that he has no intention of getting back with her even though he did confess that their mattress merriment did register a 3.8 on the Richter scale.

A friendly reminder that Tuesday, February 28, is 'National Avoid Caffeine Day,' except in Nevada where Caffeine has been voted as a member of one of the four major food groups.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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