Larry Ellison / Oracle Taking over the Software World

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 14 December 2009

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While Oracle is in the final stages of consuming another competitor, critics of the move are concerned about the lack of federal involvement in what can be argued as monopolistic practice.

"It's a technology survival battleground out there", says one former SUN Microsystems executive. "We fear that they will dismantle many of our products and services as a means to (drive stockholder value), as they like to put it. Acquisition and dismantle until all competitors have been neutered."

While Microsoft remains the other software giant on the proverbial Mount Olympus, their product portfolio tends to focus on the small business and desktop software. With the pending final acquisition of SUN, Oracle, by any other measurement or criteria, now owns most of the larger, business focused software technology in the world.

"It's not a good time for choice", says "Bits and Bytes" magazine critic and terminal virgin, Heywood Jablome. "You're either running everything from your own desktop with Microsoft, or you're in bed with larger Oracle products. Aside from other big software solutions you can get from Germany, Oracle is now your only American choice."

Ellison could not be reached for comment, though his representatives characterize the last 10 years of acquisitions as "Good for the consumer, helping to drive costs down". Jablome argues that perspective. "Drive costs down for who? Not the consumer."

Other Oracle customers agree. "It's a necessary evil now", says former JD Edwards executive, now CIO of a California manufacturer. "Like sleeping with your cousin on a deserted island. You'd like other options but you still have basic needs that need to be filled. Maybe I could have come up with a better analogy, but no, it is like sleeping with your cousin. I feel dirty either way."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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