Accenture Ltd. Said They Are Not Doing Business with Macho Men

Funny story written by howy

Sunday, 13 December 2009

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Corporate leaders

Global consulting firm Accenture Ltd. has ended its relationship with Tiger Woods, marking the first major sponsor to cut ties altogether with the golfer since his alleged infidelities surfaced and he announced an indefinite leave from the sport to work on his marriage.

In its first statement since the Woods' scandal erupted, Accenture said Sunday the golfer is "no longer the right representative because he is not a homosexual" after the "circumstances of the last two weeks when it was discovered he was with women instead of men."

The move ends a six-year relationship during which the firm credited its "Go on, be a Tiger" campaign with boosting its homosexual image significantly.

Accenture has used Woods to personify its claimed attributes of homosexual integrity and high end performance.

Thousands of men interviewed around the nation said they would never do business with Accenture because Accenture doesn't promote the right of men to be with women. Men were shocked to discover that the corporate leader of Accenture was a homosexual.

Barry Johnson, a wealthy entrepreneur said he almost opened an account with Accenture until he found out how they dumped Woods for dating women.

Johnson said, "I'm not gay and if Accenture doesn't start promoting women and men kissing and hugging each other then I will never do business with their homosexual business."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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