A news rumour that spread across the wires last week about a possible sighting of Osama Bin Laden took me on a strange adventure. The crazy cave dweller had been seen purchasing a box of Viagra from a local chemist on the Isle of Wight.
The limp dicked terror mastermind looked red faced as the young pretty assistant asked him if he had used the knob extender pills before.
"Well he had a limp so I assumed he'd been dusting the cave too hard if you know what I mean." Said the pretty assistant.
Further reports of the Al Qaeda head were handed to the police on the island who said they'd look into after lollipop duties at school closing time.
I decided to investigate myself and noticed a bearded man in a cloak limping across a field bothering some sheep.
Instead of following I returned to the chemist and purchased a box of the little blue pills myself, for journalistic research and asked the pretty assistant how long it took to take effect and what time did she finish her shift.
Suddenly a local police man ran into the shop out of breath and normal genes by the look of things. He informed us that Osama Bin Laden was wandering the fields of the Isles of Wight fucking farmyard animals with his everlasting rock cock and shouting "Death to America, I fucking hate 'Horse With No Name'."
So it seems this terror mastermind in hiding is nothing but a lonely cow fucker who simply hates the MOR country rock styling's of the USA band and actually loves the United States. That is if the 'I Heart USA' tattoo on his shaking limping arse is anything to go by, that we pictured when he had a threesome with a goat and a huge fucking frog.
