Automakers vow to not use Bailout Money "for Whores"

Written by Jeff Brone

Friday, 21 November 2008

image for Automakers vow to not use Bailout Money "for Whores"
Hey, nice car...s

CEOs of the top three US automakers promised congress that they would use the money they received from the government "not at all for paying prostitutes or whores" in a statement today.

A spokesman for one company said he wants his company to be "completely transparent" in this matter and assures the taxpayers that their "hard earned money will not go to any around the world trips, and I don't mean ones you need a passport for."

A representative for another automaker did admit that various financial mistakes had been made in the past, but no more. The companies used "no whores" as a slogan to set the proceedings off on the right note. He added: "When you come into Washington, people expect a certain level of assurance of financial responsibility, and that means no whores. Congress wants a business plan, well we will provide one that includes no hummers, and I don't mean utility vehicles."

Congressman Barney Frank said he was pleased with the automakers pledge, and wondered why the money hasn't been approved yet. The suave Frank said at a press conference that it was "about time that congress came off it's high horse and did something for the middle class people, though in this case that doesn't include whores. It's not fair to hold automakers to too high a standard. They said "no whores" What more does congress want?"

It was difficult for reporters to hear Frank as Bill O'Reilly was still yelling at him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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