Obama Says He Won't Bail Out "Those Honky Carmakers"

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Saturday, 8 November 2008

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No help for honkies

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President-elect Barack Obama said on Friday that there was no way his new government is going to bail out "those honky carmakers."

The chief executives of GM, Ford Motor Co. and Chrysler had all been confident of billions of new dollars from the Obama Administration, and were taken aback by his comments.

"To hell with them," added Obama. "Tax money is not going to go to support The Man: a bunch of rich cracker honky executives and their high stepping ways and their yachts."

The auto executives are pleading for an emergency bailout from new federal legislation to maintain their fat-cat whitey lifestyles and their trophy wives and McMansions.

GM, Ford and Chrysler all have plunging car sales and steep losses which the industry blames on the global credit meltdown, and not their shitty vehicles. The industry is seeking a bailout of up to $500 billion.

The stakes rose on Friday when GM said it had burned through $6.9 billion in cash in the third quarter and issued a warning on future liquidity. Ford ran through $7.7 billion. Chrysler is in even worse shape and is pretty well dead.

"The automobile industry is critical not only to our economy but to our national security. We need that manufacturing base, 250,000 direct employees, but millions of indirect employees," the car executives said in a joint statement.

The Bush administration is already dishing out $25 billion in advanced technology sweetheart loans to the auto sector approved by Congress in September.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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