Kalu, Hawaii The big three auto makers, GM, Chrysler, Ford and The United Auto Workers, (UAW), are fiddling in their collective lavishness while workers for the three and members of UAW are in dire straits.
All three automakers lined up with 'me too' pleas as one after another pleaded for a government bailout from the supposed financial straits they all claim. Each with a more extensive claim of horrid ruin should the government not intervene.
"We just can't make cars any cheaper and be competitive," whined Jack Scrotums, some vice president in charge of something, from GM. "We vended many parts and products to offshore manufacturers, we've cut labor force, I personally gave up my membership at the Country Club. We've sacrificed. The Union just has us in a binding situation."
"That's not so true," said Vinnie Squeezoni sitting next to Jack, in the hot tub, here at Kapalua Villas, Hawaii. Vinnie took a long haul on his Hoyo de Monterrey, "we fought long and hard for those benefits, you think it's easy getting a guy forty bucks and bennies to install windshield wipers? How about that light in the glove compartment? Stroke of genius!"
Fred Forbes Ford V, some sycophant vice President of Ford Motor company agreed. "We want the worker to make an honest wage, they in turn will buy the product, but when you have these same workers buying Toyotas and Hondas, well what does that say?"
"That's correcto mundo,"said John Sacless of Chrysler as he sipped from a coconut container while being oiled up in a chaise lounge nearby. "Ungrateful wretches I say, fire the lot of them."He motioned for a refill to his drink and then ordered a round for the rest.
Asked, "Does this have something to do with the product? Or the value for the money needed to buy these cars?"
All three at first looked shocked, then dumb founded.
Pursuing the line of thought they were asked. "Don't you think these extravagant cost mark ups, passed on to the consumer, are due to some rather unusual perks on both sides of the collective bargaining agreement? Considering, no one is buying these cars?"
All four passed looks to each other and then collectively said, "Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."
"We've all made sacrifices,"said Fred, "look , Jack flew coach class down here, John is having a bitch of a time selling his place in Aspen, Vinnie? Vinnie had to take a taxi to the labor meeting they had at the local in Detroit, he thought they'd get pissed if he showed up in the limo. I've had my trials too, with the government questions and all. Just give us the money is all I say."
The meetings ,here at a beautiful Hawaiian resort, will continue while in Washington hard decisions will be weighted.
