Mark Lowton Indicted on Brutality Charges

Written by Johnny Ovaltine

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

image for Mark Lowton Indicted on Brutality Charges

Wealthy and powerful newspaper mogul Mark Lowton was indicted yesterday by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Mark was represented by former O.J. lawyer Robert Shapiro.

The entire incident unfolded when a jilted J. Jonah Jameson wanted to renege on a billion dollar deal allowing for the merger of the two media giants The Bugle and The Daily Planet.

Shapiro released a statement claiming they would go after Trick Ricky for his part in the altercation. "If he wouldn't have taught Mark his patented Triple Back Slap Half Somersault Drop Kick to the Back of the Neck technique this never would have happened."

Although Jameson ultimately recovered from the bruising, his throat has never been the same. Dr. Ahma Badas Mofo said, "We were able to reconstruct most of his face and replaced the teeth with toilet-bowl porcelain but his Adam's apple is shot. The cigar he had in his mouth at the time of the incident damn near came out the other side."

Tricky Ricky said he was very sorry about everything that had happened but it should serve as a lesson to all in the future. "You must never challenge my Wu Tang style, you could get hurt." Hearings are supposed to start late in October.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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