Sarah Huckabee’s enter the political ring, but also the chicken ring!
Try new Sarah Huckabee’s Roasted and Toasted Chicken Fast Food!
And she means fast! Some of the chickens may not be entirely cooked the whole way through, so check your bag ‘o chicken before you leave the store. When those eggs turn to chickens, they ain’t aborted, so Sarah wants to give them their freedom ASAP – even if it means they’re still kinda raw and bloody.
But wait all you Satan-loving democrats! This chicken ain’t for you! No Democrats will be allowed in the store or to order online. A skill testing question about the wonders and beauty of the KKK will be asked – and if you display any form of anger or eye rolling, you be asked to kindly leave, at the barrel of an AR-15!
Josh Hawley loves the Huckabee Chicken! He runs all over America for it. And other GOP suits are ready to run away from politics and towards Huckabee’s. Lyndsey, Tom Cotton (if that’s not an antebellum name…!), DeSantis, Marjorie, Lauren … all of them love to be chickens – I mean, eat chickens. They love having greasy mouths from kissing all that chicken ass and giblets and sucking on chicken toes – but WARNING!
Tests have not been fully concluded, and some have blamed Dr. Fauci, but eating Sarah Huckabee’s chicken may turn you into a chicken! (See above note about checking to see if your order is fully cooked).
If you experience growing feathers, a penchant for pecking seeds on the ground, wanting to have your feathery ass covered in your own shit, or the desire to stand tall on a fence post and wake everybody the fuck up for sleeping longer than the sun’s rising … you may be a Republican!
Sorry, no, you may be a chicken! Consult your local farmer immediately! If you find eggs coming out of your ass instead of balls or logs of shit – get yourself quickly to a grocery store and put a price tag on your ass!
Sarah Huckabee’s Chicken … if you ain’t getting Roasted and Toasted, then you ain’t the kind of chicken the GOP wants in their party.
