Save Your Money – and Trade it In For Crypto, You Poor Rich Bastard!

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Friday, 10 February 2023

image for Save Your Money – and Trade it In For Crypto, You Poor Rich Bastard!
Your Computer Will Keep Your Money Safe ... It Promises

Who wants some crypto? Crypto for sale, get it while the getting’s good.

Visa and other credit cards are hopping on the crypto train and want to pressure small businesses into not taking cash anymore. Make it a digital currency, we’ve had enough of trees and their paper oppression! Let the trees stand tall!

Lots of poor countries love crypto since the International Monetary Fund cripples them with debt, and a new form of currency might finally give them a chance to not be poor anymore. Crippled versus Crypto.

The USA hates this, and wants to ban crypto. If its slave nations pay off their debts, then OH NO, they won’t be slaves anymore. And we all know from the history of the USA, they LOVE slavery. Their Civil War wasn’t about freeing the slaves, it was about what it is today: the Southern racists want to own and control and rule America like Hitler ruled Germany! (Good thing there was a civil war, or else Hitler would’ve been born in Alabama.)

Soon your paper money won’t be no good. Digital currency means your government and its laws will be able to watch where your money goes, what you spend it on, and if you buy the wrong thing, you can be punished, manipulated, told how to be “good”, which is a fluid definition.

The Chinese are already doing this, and now the West wants in on it. In Canada, Justin Trudeau is changing the law to erase certain things from the computers of Canucks so they only see what he wants them to see. Isn’t Rishi doing similar things, especially with the “Thou Shalt Not Protest” law? Tell you what to say is close to telling you what you can see and not see.

The governments of the world need to babysit their populations. That’s what they think they exist for. Thus, we are all babies. Until we go “waa waa!” and then we get beaten by cops and are told that protesting is bad, and we need a “time out” for 30 years or so in a concrete box. (How is Julian Assange doing? Anyone check on him lately?)

So if you have a crumbled ball of paper bills, save them! There will soon be a museum where you can trade them in and get a tiny bit of crypto! And then you can think yourself rich!

See how easy it is to “get rich” in the coming Orwellian Utopia?!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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