BLOOMINGTON, Indiana - (Satire News) The restaurant chain that was founded back in 1934, but has been quietly idlying in the slow fast food lane, has just announced that it is joining the burger battle.
Daris "Pickles" Rapparight, a spokesperson for Wimpy Restaurants, named after the Popeye character, has just introduced their brand new Secret Sports Meat Burger, which they say will kick McDonald's Big Mac burger in it's burger butt.
"Pickles" added that their new "Touchdown Burger" will also knock the lettuce out of Burger King's Whopper Burger, and stomp all over Jack-in-the-Boxes Ultimate Cheeseburger.
When asked what the special meat is, Rapparight revealed that it is made from the meat of grain fed emus, ostriches, and peacocks.
He was asked if the burgers are legal. He replied "Hell yes! PETA has given Wimpy's it's seal of approval on our new "Touchdown Burgers."
