Trump can’t stop winning! He’s an idea man who gets richer with every genius scheme he can think of. He talked his way into the Oval Office, convincing millions of morons that he was a genius (sooooo easy to do!).
And now what’s Donald’s latest money-making scam – I mean, venture … yeah, venture …
Selling his own semen!
His fans love it! The label promises: “My sperm is high quality, super sperm, great for all the woman but not the guys, sorry, fellas, my tadpoles don’t swim that way – but for the ladies my jism will give you huge bazongas and a tight wet va-jay-jay and a bubble butt to die for, I guarantee!” (This was your president, America – not some low-level employee in the mailroom or out on the shipping docks … your prez-i-dent.)
As an added incentive to buy this … stuff … Donald says that any ladies who can stomach the semen enough to swallow it can send “face and body pics” to his personal address where he will judge you like a Miss Universe Skank to see if you have what it takes to get some of his sperm from the source! (this “source” was not specified, and to win even more of Donald’s products, whether they come from his body or from a sewer, no one can tell.)
So, ladies of the world, don’t be prudes, open up wide and swallow some Donald! Or just get some on your face and have one of your girlfriends lick it off while Donald’s personal photographer (possibly Bannon or Giuliani or Roger Stone if he can stop twitching for two seconds) takes your picture for his secret website, not that shitty Parler or Social something, that’s a huge failure, but something Epstein used to own.
Mmmmmm … me so hungry for Donald!
