THE BRONX, New York - (Satire News) - The Bronx Police Dept. reports that an individual wearing a Donald Trump Halloween Mask entered the McDonalds at 197th and Ivanka Trump Drive and brandished a semi-automatic grenade launcher.
The perp, who appeared to look a little Icelandic, strangely spoke with a Cherokee accent.
The store manager Ikon Simaveechi said that he told the robber to take all of the ketchup packets, salt packets, drinking straws, and napkins that he wanted, but to please not fire his semiautomatic grenade launcher.
The robber nodded in the affirmative and told Siveechi that he wanted food items, and lots of them.
So Imaveechi had one of his 16-year-old employees, put a bunch of Mickey D's food items in a to go bag.
SIDENOTE: When police arrived, they were told that the perp had made off with 19 Big Macs and 14 orders of McFries, and $7.13 in cash.
