COLD BALLS, Minnesota - (Magazine Satire) - The entrepreneur who has become known as "The Human Asshole" has just been charged with a crime that could land him in prison for at least 14 years.
Mike "Shithead" Lindell has been charged with selling fake pillows.
He does admit that his pillows were in fact manufactured in sweat shops in Cambodia, Thailand, and Macadamia, but he denies that they were manufactured with workers as young as six-years-old.
Lindell told GOP Gushings News reporter Jimbo Zoopy that he paid the workers in the Cambodian sweat shops 37ยข an hour, which is twice what the minimum wage in Cambodia is.
In the meantime, President Biden has asked VP Kamala Harris to investigate this low-life, scum-sucking, pecker-looking SOB, and see to it that the ugly swamp-dweller never, ever sells another pillow again.
SIDENOTE: Zoopy noted that Lindell's good friend Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump has stated that he does not know Mike Lindell, nor has he ever met him, or had casual sex with the ugly-looking monkey turd.
