Warren Puffitt: Vaccine News, Deliberately Delayed, Cost Trump Victory

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Monday, 9 November 2020

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Omaha, Nebraska. That S.O.B. reporter Woof Blister, for Spoof On Business. That other financial wizard from Omaha, Warren Puffitt, told this reporter today, in a virulent denunciation of big pharma, that a conspiracy between Democrats and the pharmaceutical industry had deliberately withheld news of its vaccine breakthrough until after the election. In doing so, Puffitt claims, the pharmaceutical companies prevented Trump's re-election.

"They knew that the market would reach 30,000 as soon as the vaccine was verified, and that news would guarantee Trump's victory. So they withheld it until the vote count was in. The collusion between pharma and the Democrats was no secret."

Puffitt had predicted on The Spoof, several weeks ago, that Trump would win if the Dow hit a new all-time high at 30,000. Voters would have checked their retirement accounts, and found that they had all recovered from the pandemic lows. Euphoric, voters would then have cast their ballots for the President. That didn't happen because the announcement of the vaccine's success was muzzled until after the election, and Trump was defeated.

Puffitt thinks the 30,000 mark won't hold on the Dow. "Biden is headed for a second pandemic crash, greater than the one in February and March that took us down to 18,000. Sell now and buy back at bargain prices in winter."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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