"The Puffitt Plunge" - Puffitt Pontificates, Dow Disintegrates

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 3 September 2020

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Rises and falls, falls and rises

Wall Street, NYC. Exclusive to The Spoof. When Warren Puffitt speaks, the stock market shakes, and today it really shuddered. Shortly before closing today, the Dow Industrial Average had fallen 1,000 points from its near-record high posted on Wednesday. Both the S and P 500 and the NASDAQ were down substantially as well.

Analysts are calling the disaster "the Puffitt Plunge", attributing the massive decline to remarks made by Puffitt yesterday to the SOB reporter Woof Blister, whose account was carried on Spoof On Business. In his remarks, Puffitt warned that the market had been manipulated for election purposes, had advanced too fast, and was facing an imminent downturn unless the rate of increase slowed.

"Well, it really slowed today," said one Wall Street broker. "Let's hope Puffitt goes on vacation for the next two months."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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