Stock Wizard Warren Puffitt All Puffed Up

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 28 August 2020

image for Stock Wizard Warren Puffitt All Puffed Up
Stock market earlier

Omaha, Nebraska. Woof Blister with a SOB story for Spoof On Business. Financial guru Warren Puffitt, the other Omaha stock genius, was all puffed up today, as he recalled the prediction he made for The Spoof two months ago to this reporter. On June 17, The Spoof ran an article in which Puffitt predicted the stock market would be at an all-time highs by election day.

"And look what's happened since then," Puffitt puffed. "In the last two months, the S and P has hit an all-time high, wiping out the nearly 40% decline during the pandemic, recovering every penny that was lost. And the NASDAQ composite did the same thing - it's at an all-time high as well.'

But you predicted that the Dow Jones would be there, too, and it isn't," this reporter interjected.

"As of today, the DJI has wiped out 10,000 of the 11,000 points it dipped during the Covid crisis. It's within 1,000 points of the all-time high set just before the Coronavirus arrived. This is only August. We've got two more months to make the grade. Never fear. And notice that I urged them to slow down the rate of recovery so that we get there just before election day. They wisely took my advice.

"The market recovery is all a sham, anyway, manipulated by Trump and his allies for election purposes. Biden's gonna have one hell of a mess when he inherits the next recession early in his term."

With that, the other guru of Omaha went back to reading his Wall Street Journal.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more