Dow Hits 29,000; "Will it Poof?" Asks Puffitt

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 2 September 2020

image for Dow Hits 29,000; "Will it Poof?" Asks Puffitt
The Stock Market

Omaha, Nebraska. USA. Woof Blister with another SOB story - Spoof On Business. Only a week after the Dow came within 1,000 points of wiping out the 11,000-point pandemic bear market, the Dow today closed less than 500 points short of that goal. Couple that with the all-time highs recorded by both the S and P and the NASDAQ, and the total value of stocks today are higher than they were at the record highs before the virus hit America.

All that should make for joy, but not in Omaha, where financial wizard Warren Puffitt today issued a warning to potential buyers of equities.

"Despite my concern, expressed in June, that the market was revving up too quickly, the Trump market manipulators have reverted to high speed, bringing the market to a peak weeks before the crucial presidential election in November. The seemingly bull market of today can't sustain itself two more months at this rate, and the IRA and 401K voters he's counting on for re-election will desert him when the market falls in October. This "recovery" is all smoke and mirrors, and it's got to be timed to peak just before the election.

"The President has three things going for him that make his re-election possible: the white backlash against "Black Lives Matter", the riots and looting that have turned off independent and borderline voters in several key states, and the stock market recovery. A few more police shootings and a continued stock market uptick ought to give him four more years... even though he loses the popular vote by millions."

Puffitt, an avid Bernie Sanders supporter, has not expressed publicly his view of Democratic candidate Joe Biden, but close associates say he believes a Biden victory would give us four years of Obama-like centrism.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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