(UNEDITED) Avoiding paying tax is 'Folk Sport Numero Uno' all over the planet. However, due to the influx of illegal immigrants into Europe, this sport has taken on new dimensions because many who flee their homelands are genius's in avoiding paying tax there.
One ex-bookkeeper from, Swaziland, somewhere in Africa, Abdullah Ali-Baba, fled his country with all the tricks hidden up his sleeves required to avoid paying tax. He secretly met up with Jaggedone on the 'Darknet' after reading his fabulous multi-million-read spoofs, which are so 'dark' they landed there, somehow!
Here are some of Abdullah's sneaky tips on how to avoid paying too much tax in your country:
1) Invest in a 100 camels, they come tax free because they run environmentally friendly, their organic fodder too, and anything to do with the 'saving the planet' is exempt from tax!
2) Don't tell the taxman where you live and pretend you are dead.
3) Never fill in any forms the Inland Revenue sends you, rip them up, and give them to your camels to eat, this will destroy all evidence.
4) If they do find out where you live, plead poverty, hide the Mercedes in your neighbour's garage, park the camels in your front garden, and your flatscreen TV's in every room; hide behind the curtains made of non-see-through-recyclable-plastic obtained at your local rubbish tip.
5) If they still are suspicious you are earning too much dosh because of several empty bottles of finest Scotch lying on the table you emptied the night before, send them to your divorced wives (In Swaziland you are allowed as many as you want) because they get everything, and their lawyers ripped you off with impunity!
6) Always purchase second-hand designer clothes, never new. You still look the business for a quarter of the price paid by your fellow rich entrepreneurs, who didn't meet me, Abdullah the Tax Swindler!
7) Wash your cash money in camel's urine, they will never want to know where it came from!
8) Avoid getting involved with drug cartels because they will 'screw' you for your money, promise you a great deal, and then ship your hard-earned, tax-free money, out to the Cayman Islands via luxury yachts docked in Guernsey. In fact, you are better off paying tax because you aint gonna live long dealing with these 'Bitches!'
So, all you hard-working entrepreneurs, just a few tips from the camel's mouth on how to 'screw' the Inland Revenue!