Thursday, 28 March 2019

image for Korean Management Skills
Derek Kim not take autograph

Derek Kim is a motivational speaker who specialises in teaching "Korean Management Skills". He sold his Seoul apartment and now tours the world teaching Westerners how to manage like a Korean. TheSpoof attended one of his talks to see what he had to say.

"Big problem with people at work," shrieked Derek in his inimitable style, "is they never finish. They go home at end of day, to wife or sex doll or pot noodle. But then they not work for you any more."

"Key to good management is that worker never finish. At end of day, you say to worker, 'Have you finish yet?' When he answer 'No', then you say 'OK, you stay until you finish,' and you lock door."

"I once manage team in Korea. It was Seoul music service for computer. We have lot of nerd who make music play on computer. Very popular nowaday."

"Then I say to them, 'Have you finish yet?'. They say 'No'. So I lock them in office."

"One week later, I come back to office. Half of worker dead from starvation. Other half survive by eating dead half. That how you find which worker hungry. Hungry worker is good worker."

"And now, I finish my talk. Go home to sex doll wife and pot noodle."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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