Cruel Gits to launch new range of greeting cards

Written by Ben Macnair

Thursday, 3 May 2018

A new range of greeting cards is to be released by the marketing company Cruel Bastards Incorporated.

The cards are designed to cheer up people following tragic and sad, everyday life events. Death, relationship break-ups, and a good football team on a massive losing streak.

Cruel Bastards Incorporated cards include from its relationship range:

Sorry your relationship went south. Plenty more fish in the sea, it is just a shame that your tackle is rusty through not being used.

From their Sports range:

I am sorry that the team of over-paid ego-maniacs who you have slavishly followed since your birth is not living up to your expectations.

From their death range

I am sorry that Death came calling with your family. He said he left his umbrella, and will be back for it soon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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