Booger Supplement Industry To Grow To 100 Billion By 2020

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Friday, 20 May 2016

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Forbes has predicted the booger supplement industry will be worth over 125 billion in sales by 2020.

The exploding booger supplement industry is predicted to grow to 100 billion dollars within a few years time.

While no one has made any money yet, the giants in pharmaceuticals are spending hundreds of millions of dollars: Johnson & Johnson has spent 300 million in R&D, while Eli Whitney just spent a cool billion on a new facility to synthesize cerebrogens, the new brain enhancing compounds discovered in boogers.

Investors Are Taking Notice

Warren Buffet has a billion dollar stake in Health Vortex Technologies which has pioneered the use of stem cell lines to produce cerebrogens.

Mark Bernam, the prodigious Denver, Colorado fund manager, has started a new enterprise that seeks to invest only in the booger supplement industry.

Bernam spoke to this reporter about the newly created Cerebro Fund.

"We've got several billion sitting on the sidelines now, we're waiting for the right company or companies to invest in. We were on board with HVT even before Buffet, but he's been able to bring more attention to this new market and people are taking it more seriously now."

New Industry Seeks Protection

Buffet and all the companies mentioned in this story are actively lobbying Congress to enact laws to protect the burgeoning booger supplement industry. Buffet recently testified for members of Congress on behalf of the pending legislation saying, "We are already hearing stories of customs intercepting shipments from fly by night importers who are bringing animal or even human cadaver boogers to the U.S."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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