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Booger Supplement Industry To Grow To 100 Billion By 2020

Funny story: Booger Supplement Industry To Grow To 100 Billion By 2020

The exploding booger supplement industry is predicted to grow to 100 billion dollars within a few years time. While no one has made any money yet, the giants in pharmaceuticals are spending hundreds of millions of dollars: Johnson & Johnson h...

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Lemonade Stands Downgraded to CCC by Standard & Poor's

Funny story: Lemonade Stands Downgraded to CCC by Standard & Poor's

Wall Street - Standard & Poor's has downgraded the credit rating of lemonade stands to CCC from its previous rating of BB. Both ratings are considered non-investment grade, which means S&P considers lemonade stands to be very risky investmen...

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Broker Oversleeps, Wakes Up 25 Years Later with a Whopper

Funny story: Broker Oversleeps, Wakes Up 25 Years Later with a Whopper

By now everyone has seen the brokerage house commercial that begins with the wide-eyed confession by the firm's chief talking head, Ty Won On, that "it is clearly not the 80's and 90's any more!" For a long time analysts and potential customers h...

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Cat Makes A Million on E-Trade

Funny story: Cat Makes A Million on E-Trade

Park Slope, NY - Fuggles the cat wasn't much loved by his new owner, Daniel Stone, who would sooner have gotten rid of him altogether... but then Fuggles became much more valuable. Fuggles had been bestowed upon Mr. Stone by his girlfriend, Sophie...

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Facebook Sues Hot Brooklyn Chick for Causing Share Value to Plummet by Deleting Facebook Account

Funny story: Facebook Sues Hot Brooklyn Chick for Causing Share Value to Plummet by Deleting Facebook Account

Facebook has filed an $18 billion lawsuit against 22-year-old Kendall O'Hara of Brooklyn, New York, for intentional interference with Facebook's much-anticipated initial public offering of stock to small-time investors. On the day of the Facebook...

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Bank of America Announces New Customer Offerings: "Daylight Savings Account" and "Accelerated Affluence Attainment (AAA)" Securities

Funny story: Bank of America Announces New Customer Offerings: "Daylight Savings Account" and "Accelerated Affluence Attainment (AAA)" Securities

Bank of America sustained a number of blows to its public reputation over the past year, most recently in a class action lawsuit by defrauded customers, which resulted in a settlement of $410 million. Nevertheless, in a press conference yesterday in...

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Romney unveils new definition for 'not very much" money: $374,327

Funny story: Romney unveils new definition for 'not very much" money: $374,327

FLORENCE, South Car. - In a year that has seen a football player's name turned into a verb (to tebow), Mitt Romney has decided to provide a new definition for "not very much" money. Romney had just revealed that he paid about 15% in income taxes o...

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Forget gold, invest in sand, Wall Street advises

Funny story: Forget gold, invest in sand, Wall Street advises

New York - How can you make some quick gains in a slow economy? The smart money on Wall Street is flowing out of gold and Into sand, according to a random survey of top investment analysts. "Sand is a steal compared to other commodities," said Rog...

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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