Tom Brady Is Devastated About The Divorce But Says He Is Not Quitting Football
TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Sports Satire) - Well "The Divorce of The Decade," has been finalized and the outcome is this; Tom gets to keep all of his $250 million and Gizele gets to keep all of her $400 million. Many of the top divorce attorneys in the…
Read full storyThe TV Western "Hell On Wheels" Is So Damn Good - It's Even #1 In Russia, China, and England
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily reporter Valerie Vistawood reports that the nation's top western "Hell On Wheels" has just been named the best American western in Russia, China, and England. Miss Vistawood interviewed the star of the sh…
Read full storyGinni Thomas Continues To Lie About Her Weight
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The white wife of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has just surpassed Ann "Trigger" Coulter and Laura "Horse Face" Ingraham as the most hated of all GOP women. She's even surpassed Fox News host Harris Faulk…
Read full storyPresident Eoj Nedib And Alamak Sirrah Throw Turbans Into The Ring For Next Election
BILLINGSGATE POST: It appears that Eoj Nedib and Alamak Sirrah will be throwing their turbans into the ring and run for a second term in the coming presidential election. In a previous post, it was noted that Eoj Nedib and Alamak Sirrah spelled ba…
Read full storyGod, Not More Comments On The Headlines!!!
God, Not More Comments On The Headlines!!! Margo Robbie Leaves Us Speechless in a Black Minidress And Sheer Tights. Margo Robbie would leave us speechless wearing a suit of armor! Jack Black says “it feels like the end of the world” if voters…
Read full storyMan with only three twitter followers doesn't know what to do
Brian Asshat, a man fond of judging other people's lives, and telling them about it has found that if Elon Musk starts charging for people to use Twitter, he will have to pay for his views to be known. Brian Asshat's followers, Snootles McGee, Sno…
Read full storyAmerican voters want Darth Vader to be President
Democrats are reeling after latest polls reveal that most Americans want Darth Vader to be their President. “I know he’s a bad guy who has killed lots of people”, said one Texan, “but I think he can make America great again, so I’ll vote for him”.
Read full storyFly like an Eagle … to the Coffee Shop
Are you a politician, especially one who has recently gained more power than you had before, and that the average person will never have? Why take a bicycle when you can take a car? Why take a car when you can take a Chinook helicopter? Fuck that…
Read full storyWorld War 3 for Xmas
When I was a kid, I didn’t know why some people wrote Christmas as Xmas. Now, I think China is about to explain. They’re going to erase the world. Bing Bing, the Chinese dictator who hates everyone who tells him he’s a piece of shit, is thinkin…
Read full story