Trump Pardons Racehorse, Blames Robert Mueller As Maximum Security Bombs
Louisville, Kentucky - Racecourse stewards ‘in league with Special Counsel Robert Mueller’ likely robbed 9-2 Kentucky Derby pick Maximum Security of victory, a presidential spokesperson said today. Trump reportedly lost a packet backing the Jason...
Read full storyJilted Kim Jong Un Fires Missiles Out of Sexual Frustration Over Trump
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un ordered the launch of missiles in an impromptu assault exercise. Un's strike drill involved a grand total of 540 missiles and rockets. Kim reportedly ordered the exercise to increase combat ability. But everyone...
Read full storySolskjaer Stance On Parking Spaces Hints At Concrete Future For United
It seems that retiring a player's shirt is no longer enough. Now you have to retire their car parking space too. That is the world created by Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in what will probably be his most telling contribution as Manchester United manager.
Read full storyAd Exec Plans to Start Living in Present Moment Very Soon
"The present moment is the only place we have any hope of finding happiness or peace," said Olivia Mancini, a high-level advertising executive at a major Manhattan firm, as she explained her affinity for Buddhism and its teachings. "And I'm going to...
Read full storyUnexploded WWII Bomb Found Under Houses Of Parliament
Army bomb disposal units were called out to an address in Westminster last night, after an enormous unexploded World War II bomb was discovered at the Houses of Parliament. The bomb, estimated to be a 1,000ib device, is thought to have been fitted...
Read full storyFull Time Community Interrogator Needed at Inhuman Services
There are some very strange organizations and advertisements out there, but what if you were to run across an organization putting forward an ad like this? Full-time directly unsupportive person needed to assist with daily unsupported personal ne...
Read full storySubbuteo Football Player Sustains Career-Threatening Injury
FLASHBACK ON THIS DAY 45 YEARS AGO A talented footballer's career is hanging in the balance this evening, after a horror injury that will rule him out for at least the rest of the season, and possibly the rest of his life. Number 9 was playi...
Read full story