Jamie Oliver Has Come A Cropper With His Restaurant Chain
When a large restaurant chain starts losing money, and eventually goes into administration, there would usually have been some signs along the way for the owners that would have helped them take action to protect the business and its hardworking staf...
Read full storyNew York Writer Disappointed When His Deep-Rooted Existential Malaise Is Diagnosed as Basic Depression
After decades of struggling with his deep-rooted existential malaise, Mitchell Hartley, a writer living in New York City, finally sought professional help in dealing with the transience of everything and the inherently unsatisfactory nature of life,...
Read full storyGame Of Thrones Gameshow 'In The Pipeline'
Worried that saddened fans of the now-defunct TV fantasy drama epic 'Game Of Thrones' might not be able to successfully handle its departure from their screens, TV bosses have come up with a GOT-themed gameshow to muzzle them, until something new can...
Read full storyMarks & Spencer Store Closure Will Leave Man's Mother 'Nowhere' To Buy Her Knickers
The permanent closure today of one of the most popular clothes shopping stores in one city's history, has presented a local woman with a huge problem in her underwear department. The store in Hull's Whitefriargate has traded in the city since befo...
Read full storyPolice admit facial recognition system ‘does not recognise thieves’
There is widespread embarrassment across the UK’s police forces after a £12 billion facial recognition system was found to be unable to detect known criminals. The system stores key facial characteristics such as the distance between the eyes and...
Read full storyTV guide - 22nd May
6:00. The Future Now. Today featuring a robot that can make a perfect cup of tea. 6:30. Britain’s Poorest Neighbourhoods. Exploitative documentary. 7:00. Michael McIntyre’s Favourite Loud Noises. The comedian listens to trumpets and dogs barkin...
Read full storyMan Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To
After years of thinking of rice as a bland, almost-tasteless part of a meal, one man has found that he now has a keen enthusiasm for it, and eats it at least three times in every seven-day period. Moys Kenwood, 55, once thought of rice as a sticky...
Read full storyHospital Was Full Of People Who Were 'Not Well'
News is just now emerging of what witnesses are describing as "a scene from a disaster movie" in a regional hospital last Wednesday morning, after a local man who turned up for a routine outpatient appointment claimed: "It was absolute chaos! Ther...
Read full storyTrump and Khamenei get down to it incognito in Club Methuselah
Looser Guccifer 2.O has just released (via NSA files) a recent meeting between the two leaders in a dank underground club in New York. These leaders must pose as very tough for their people, who look to them to be unflinching and very cool--versus...
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