Pope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...
Read full storyDue to Typo in Executive Calendar Trump and Kim Jong-un End Up Meditating Together
Due to a typographical error in U.S. President Donald Trump's executive calendar, which had intended to schedule him for a half-day mediation session with North Korea Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, the two world leaders wound up meditating together for...
Read full storySexual Abuse Still Topping The List Of Abuses
They say that some things never change, and that certainly seems to be the case with 'abuse', which, a study has found, that, for the seventh year running, Sexual Abuse still tops the list of popular abuses. Reported crime involving sexual abuse a...
Read full storyDonald J. Trump- Just The Enema America Needs.
Donald J. Trump- Just The Enema America Needs. He said he was gonna do it and, dad-gum if he didn't gone and dooded it. The Donald provided the laxatorial stimulus needed to remove decades of inner stagnant, potentially cancerous fecal growth that...
Read full storyBolton and Abrams discovered in regime change rituals in dank basement
The hacker group Dark Overbored has once again released intimate details on those currently governing US policy. This time it's via new technology in “doorknob surveillance,” and a series of “doorknob studies” for "interior scenes." To the fol...
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