Wasting water is "against our policy," Just Dunkin' insists
Dunkin' Donuts, ridiculed for changing its name to Just Dunkin' in what many media analysts (whatever the hell they are) believe was a publicity ploy, is back in the limelight because of the behavior of one of its Syracuse, New Yawk, employees. A...
Read full storyMan Makes Early New Year's Resolution
A man who regards himself as 'consistently well-prepared', has revealed that he is way ahead of schedule, and has already made his New Year's resolution - despite the fact that he doesn't need to be resolute about it until January! Steve Baden-Pow...
Read full storyIf A Future Supreme Court Nominee Wiggles His Penis In A Woman's Face, But Nobody Sees It, Did It Really Happen?
It's a real question. I mean, if he did, or, alternatively, if he didn't, how can we be sure? After all this time, how can it be proven conclusively one way or the other? Indeed, if we want to take things to their logical conclusion, how can ANYTHING be proven conclusively one way or the other? Once upon a time, testimony from 'respected upstanding members of the community', professional...
Read full storyCon Conference: Extra Pritt-Stick Ordered For Theresa May Speech
Extra Pritt-Stick has been ordered to ensure Theresa May can only balls-up from speaking shite and not as well as the stage falling apart around her during her speech, ministers say. The previous Tory Conference was a spectacular screw-up for the...
Read full storyThousands Of Flies Build Nest On Lindsey Graham's Head
In the heat of the Judge Kavanaugh hearings, Senator Lindsey Graham started swatting flies, that seemed to be buzzing around him during his address to the Senate floor: "I've made up my mind, and decided BIll Cosby is pre-approved for a spot on th...
Read full storyMarriages Where One Of The Couple Shits The Bed, More Likely To End In Divorce - Study
Marriages where one of the couples shits the bed, are more likely to end in divorce, says a study I made up off the top of my head today. Divorce rates worldwide have soared over the last 20 years, but it's amongst the bedshitting community that s...
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