Adverbs Heatedly Blast Stephen King for Causing Them to Be Summarily Dismissed by Modern-Day Authors
Adverbs everywhere have vocally and publicly come out against best-selling author Stephen King, blaming him for their summary dismissal by many modern-day writers. “Thanks to him, we’re being edited out of the game,” lamented adverb Beverly Passio...
Read full storyFacebook CEO Vladimir Putin Denies Possibility of Russia Using Facebook for Disruptive Activities
MENLO PARK, CA: Facebook CEO Vladimir Putin sternly rejected the possibility of Russian interference using Facebook. Putin sighed, then explained, “You Americans – of which I am one, of course – love to spend every waking hour obsessed with fake news, zombies, and womens' sexuality. In Mother Russia, – which is the enemy of all who live, of course – the citizens are more concerned with how the...
Read full storyBBC Newsreader Criticised For Flagging Down Police Car For Lift
The BBC newsreader, Fiona Bruce, has been widely criticised for stopping a police car, and asking for a lift. The feisty Bruce - that one with the reddish hair and 'Catwoman' look who stands there in the dominatrix pose - got out of a taxi which w...
Read full storyNancy Pelosi Unable to Say the Word "Impeachment"
WASHINGTON D.C. - In an interview with various reporters, Nancy Pelosi stated, "As House Minority Leader, I believe it is not the proper course of action to respond to Judge Kavanaugh with talk of impuuuu-" Pelosi then strained her face and squirm...
Read full storyPresident Trump Announces Two New Public Holidays
President Donald Trump has reacted swiftly to the good news about Judge Brett Kavanaugh's being confirmed as Associate Justice Supreme Court by introducing not one, but two, new US national public holidays. The first of these holidays is to be Oct...
Read full storyOld-Testament God Creates 11th Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Engage in Victim Blaming, You Sadistic Morons”
WASHINGTON D.C. - Emerging from the heavens amidst a flurry of lightning and ferocious winds, the Old-Testament God, commonly known as Yahweh, descended upon the United States Congress. “I am the Lord thy God,” Yahweh bellowed, shaking the ground...
Read full storyBBC News Hacked By Russia
Russian hackers are believed to be behind the 'technical glitch' that threw the BBC into disarray yesterday afternoon just after 3pm. For a while, the channel played recorded 'old news', but this backfired when the main news featured the death of...
Read full storySenator McConnell Channels Magneto, Shouts, “DEMOCRATS! WELCOME TO DIE!”
WASHINGTON D.C. - Senator Mitch McConnell left his fellow politicians confused and terrorized when he took to the podium in Senate chambers, generated an electromagnetic force field, and shouted, “DEMOCRATS! WELCOME TO DIE!” Senators and staff fle...
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