David Batty Deserves England Send-Off, says Phil Neville
England Netball team boss Phil Neville was adamant yesterday that nobody should question David Batty's recall to the England football squad for the friendly against the USA. "I'm adamant that nobody should question David Batty's recall to the Engl...
Read full storyLocal Moron Proud That He Voted
A local man was proud of the fact that he did the bare minimum in a democratic society and voted today. "I put my sticker on and I posted on Facebook to tell everyone I voted," said Kurt McCray of the local area. "I also implored them to vote beca...
Read full storyWoman Kicks Man In Gonads
There was a painful end to a short conversation on the London Tube this morning, when a man who had tried to chat up a female fellow passenger received a kick in the gonads for his trouble. John O'Gape was travelling on the Northern Line having bo...
Read full storyMan Questioned By 'Police' Over His Use Of The Word 'Centigrade'
A teacher in a Battambang school has been questioned by students over his repeated use of the word 'centigrade' as a unit of heat measure. It felt like a police inquiry. The students looked confused when the teacher kept referring to 'centigrad...
Read full storyScientists announce first underwearable smartass phone
San Francisco, CA (UPU) Scientists here have modeled the first smartass phone. Butt dialing has reached a new level as demonstrated by models walking the catwalk here, wearing nothing but the totally flexible phone screens covering strategic body...
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