Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 6 November 2018

image for Man Questioned By Police Over His Use Of The Word 'Centigrade'
They both begin with 'C'

A teacher in a Battambang school has been questioned by students over his repeated use of the word 'centigrade' as a unit of heat measure.

It felt like a police inquiry.

The students looked confused when the teacher kept referring to 'centigrade', and, at length, he asked them what the quizzical looks on their mugs were.

One student spoke up:

"What's 'centigrade'?"

The teacher explained, but one clever bastard said:

"Do you mean 'celsius'?"

The teacher, looking 'shifty', said:

"Er ... yes, I do."

But he didn't. He meant 'centigrade'. After the lesson had finished, the teacher googled both words, and found out the background to his confusion, but this was too late for those pesky kids. The damage had been done.

It's not clear why the teacher thought the correct word to use was 'centigrade', because the word 'celsius' had replaced it long before he was born, but he claims he heard it used on the BBC for years, all through his childhood, along with the word 'fahrenheit'.

A spokeskid for the students laughed:

"He's going senile, that foreign teacher."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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