Satan opens sink hole on White House lawn to shorten Trump's daily commute to Hell
What was originally reported as a geological event has been confirmed as a deliberate action taken by the Prince of Darkness. Satan has confirmed that the sink hole on White House property is actually a direct access point to Hell. "Donny was c...
Read full storyCan You Stand the Heat??? Hot Pretzel Yoga Not for the Faint of Heart!
Combining the key principles of hot yoga with the technology of wood-fired brick ovens, the latest fitness craze known as hot pretzel yoga offers participants the opportunity to twist themselves into a pretzel and be baked at 425 degrees for 45 minut...
Read full storyMueller: "Going After Trump Is Like Trying To Shoot A Dyspeptic Anchovy With A Spear Gun"
BILLINGSGATE POST: Wile E Mueller, after once again having to listen to the echo of the melodious MEEP MEEP! bouncing off the giant arms of the Saguaro cacti that populate the Sonoran Desert, threw his coyote arms up in disgust as he snatched a flee...
Read full storyWoman Marries Herself
A woman in New Jersey who fell out with every boyfriend she ever had, has married herself. Tina Snodge, 37, who lives in Trenton, never had any problems finding partners: she was pretty, brunette, shapely, athletic, and also had a few dollars in t...
Read full story"Me Too" Bags Another; Disgraced School Chief Quits
In the wake of New York attorney general Eric Schneiderman's resignation, another top government official elsewhere has succumbed after similar startling revelations of unwanted sexual assaults on women. Following a painful and sometimes tearful c...
Read full story"Ptomaine Romaine" Scare Threatens Lettuce Growers Everywhere
With the E. coli outbreak that infected one variety of Arizona's lettuce crop now seemingly at an end, the Farm Bureau has urged all concerned to romaine calm. However, the fallout from the crisis has had a devastating financial impact on the entire...
Read full storyMan Attacked By Ducklings
Residents in the Battambang commune of Tapon are on high-alert this evening after a local man claimed he was attacked by ducklings. The incident is alleged to have taken place just before teatime in the back garden of Moys Kenwood, who told neighb...
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