Galapagos Twitchers In A Flap At FBI Grand Jury Subpoena
Galápagos Islands, Ecuador - (Agencies, Associated Mess): There are reports this weekend that FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller has subpoenaed a dozen indigenous Ecuadorian ‘bird watchers’ in the ongoing Rump Golden Showers Witch *unt probe. Pap...
Read full storyProsecutors look the other way in Seagull case
La La Land—Prosecutors in La La Land (aka Los Angeles) announced that martial arts expert and occasional “actor” Steven Seagull will not be prosecuted for a 2002 sexual assault he (allegedly) committed against a former model. According to the mode...
Read full storyDrones Given Thumbs-Up By Gatwick Airport
Gatwick Airport, which was closed last week due to sightings of a drone being operated in its airspace, has announced that, from the New Year, drones will be allowed to take off and land there. Gatwick officials have come up with the futuristic pl...
Read full storyNew Huggable "Vlad The Impaler" Doll To Be Sold In Stores Soon
Are you lonely? Do you need something to hug at night in order to make you feel safe, warm, and cozy? Are teddy bears just not cutting it anymore? IMPALED recently announced that it will soon be releasing a new huggable "Vlad the Impaler" doll.
Read full storyU.S Economy Crashes As Entire U.S. Male Workforce Over 40 Years Old Resigns Amid Sexual Assault Allegations
USA —It was the great thunderous crash that nobody saw coming. With the growing #MeToo movement sweeping across multiple industries and removing powerful men from their jobs (after they pressured women in their companies to perform sexual favors...
Read full storyTwitter Shuts Up Trump as Trump Shuts Down Gov't.
President Donald Trump's tweets went silent at midnight when Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey deleted Trump's account. Despite rumors that Dorsey was reacting to Trump's government shut down because congress wouldn't fund his border wall, Dorsey had another,...
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