Homopterans Call For Mika’s Dismissal: Buttboy, My Ass!
BILLINGSGATE POST: First thing you should know: Never, ever f**k with a Cicada. Like a rat chewing on cheese with rubber-tipped teeth, you will never hear them coming until it’s too late. Homoptera refers to an order of insects that is characterized by its dual pair of wings and sucking mouthparts. Examples of Homoptera include the aforementioned cicadas. It is highly advisable to exterminate the...
Read full storyDid Fraud Get Trump Into White House?
So, if Donald Trump and partner Mike Pence got into the White House through fraud, doesn’t that mean that they go straight out of the White House and into the jailhouse? Sure, after a trial and all that legal wrangling and finagling, unless they plea...
Read full story63% of people still like me though
An unnamed political leader has gone back to work, knowing that 63% of her colleagues still like her, and think that she is doing a good job. Theresa May, the fourth, or fifth choice for the job of British Prime Minister is still clinging on, desp...
Read full storyAmazon To Lay Off Staff As Pre-Christmas 'Rush' Doesn't Happen
Amazon, the online shopping retailer, has said that it is facing being forced to make staff at its distribution centers redundant, as online sales for Christmas have fallen way below expected targets. Sales of goods are 28% down on those in the fi...
Read full storyPepsi of Friends
Charles Worthington the fourth, from Washington DC, has proven what he always thought was the case: when it comes to his friends, he is the Pepsi, rather than the Coke. Worthington said: 'When I turn up at the taverns without Dave, Shane or our En...
Read full storyMan Shocked Online Date Didn't Look Like Her Picture
Donald Basden, the third, was shocked to discover that his online date, Sarah Fitzmaurice, looked nothing like her photo. 'I am a dog person,' said Basden, 53, (67 in real terms), 'so obviously, with her whiskers, and big ears, I thought that Sara...
Read full storyFootball: Big Match Preview
With the League title looking like it will be the most open it has been for a long, long time, two of the top contenders meet up this weekend in what is sure to be a crunching battle between fierce rivals who still have several scores to settle. B...
Read full storyViolent Diarrhea Opens Up Several Portals To "The Other Side"
Iowa. When 46-year-old Tom Cornell sat on his toilet seat at home last Sunday at 7:30 pm, he didn't expect that the simple act of having a bowel movement would open up several portals to a dimension completely unknown and unexplored by rational scie...
Read full storyCurious Entity Defies Any Kind Of Classification
An entity that used to be a human male has spoken out about its choice to 'self-alienate', and to escape any kind of classification or categorisation aside from 'it'. The entity, or 'it', has shed its name, thrown away its birth certificate, and d...
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