Charles Worthington the fourth, from Washington DC, has proven what he always thought was the case: when it comes to his friends, he is the Pepsi, rather than the Coke.
Worthington said: 'When I turn up at the taverns without Dave, Shane or our English mate, Barry, people always look disappointed. They don't mind that I am there, really, but they still want someone else instead, a bit like all of my ex-girlfriends, my parents, siblings - in fact, everyone, really'.
'It is not that Charles is bad, per se,' said Charles Worthington the third, 'but if I am asking for a Coke, I expect a Coke, not a watered-down version, with less of a marketing budget.'
'Charles?' asked Barry, later, 'Charles who?'