Bugseye Pelosi Dumps A Horse’s Head On Trump’s Bed: Her Mafia Thing
BILLINGSGATE POST: A horse's head is a horse's head, of course, of course. “Donald, I think we have company in our bed.” “Go back to sleep honey. You must be dreaming.” “Donald, there’s a f**king horse’s head next to you.” Reminiscent o...
Read full storyMueller wonders whether he should just get up the courage and ask Trump whether he colluded.
After spending months asking friends of Trump, hinting that he was interested, or hoping he'd make the first move, top sources report Robert Mueller may just go out and ask Trump whether he colluded. "Yeah, I'm tired of dancing around it, and I think...
Read full storyA Professor Suffers Collapse— Submission Rejection Delirium
Two ER physicians at Gabbert General Hospital in Gabbert, Arizona, huddled over the patient still strapped to a gurney. The white male, approximately Medicare age, had been brought in by ambulance just a few minutes earlier. He was unkempt and clearly in a distressed state. There were no signs of injury or trauma, and his vital signs were good, except for somewhat elevated BP. He had no ID, but he...
Read full storyListening Repeatedly To Dominique A, Made Man Speak English With French Accent
An Englishman who listened incessantly to the music of French artist, Dominique A, started to speak English as if he, himself were French - complete with a French accent! Travelling on a Finnair flight back to Manchester in 2012, Moys Kenwood scan...
Read full storyIt's Christmas Crackers, Your Taste Buds Under Attack
What is it with retailers? They seem to think that the mid-winter celebration of the birth of some bloke in Palestine gives them carte blanche to assault our taste buds with all sorts of concoctions we wouldn't think of touching at any other time of the year. You know what I mean: sherry, Bailey's Irish Cream, crème de menthe and snowballs for god's sake. Our award-winning French Food & Dri...
Read full storyUpskirty Stick To Be Removed From Stores
A company that makes smartphone accessories has announced that its 'Upskirty Stick', the newly-designed successor to the 'Selfie Stick', has been pulled from shelves after the government banned the product. O'Sodomy Accessories say the 'Upskirty S...
Read full storySpirit of Christmas Past still banging on about that Christmas party in your 20's when you broke the photocopier
A miser repeatedly visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve has complained that their stories are always the same. Fiona Trumpington Rees Mog, 53, has been visited by the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Christmas Present and Christmas Yet To Come every...
Read full storySon disappointed he can't buy a new Pink Floyd album for his dad
Martin Billings, an unimaginative 23-year-old is disappointed that he can't buy a Pink Floyd album for his Dad this year. Over the years Shane Billings has been gradually filling his shelves with albums by the prog rock band, that his son has been...
Read full storyPresident Hillary? Will Clinton Replace Pence as Veep?
In the wake of Michael Cohen's sentencing and revelations from special counsel Mueller and prosecutors from the second district of New York, leading senate Republicans and Democrats met late yesterday to discuss a peaceful resolution to the stolen 20...
Read full storyBritain's most skillful shoplifter
Fatima Bahawalanzai argues ''I gets angry, snooty people complain I 'ave never 'ad a Corn on the bloomin' Cob, 'cause I spent me whole Porridge Knife since childhood workin' 'ard shopliftin' stores." She is Britain’s most skillful shoplifter, boas...
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