Monkey Dust Hits Stoke School in Daytrip Disaster
Pupils at a local Stoke-on-Trent High School were looking forward to a long-arranged day trip to a popular animal centre today, but disaster struck soon after they arrived. The schoolchildren, aged 11 to 16, were visiting the local "Monkey Forest...
Read full storyDemocRATs want to live large "like Putin"
La La land, USA—In a follow-up to a Gal Lupp poll in which 51% of DemocRATs confessed to preferring socialism to capitalism, respondents to the poll gave their reasons for their preference. “Why work when I can get stuff free?” Freddy the Freeload...
Read full storyShock as Sir Elton John turns to Country Music
Sir Elton John may have said "let one of your fucking country singers do it" on hearing the rumour that he was to perform at President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration, but deep down, it seems he is a fan of the mawkishly boring and notoriously homo...
Read full storyDr. Quigley Answers Ladies' Psychosexual Questions
Dear Dr Quigley My husband suffers from recurrent migraines, but his GP always insists on personally taking a sample of semen whenever he sees her. He looks forward to this regular treatment but I am not sure this is helping him, as he doesn't seem to have the same energy as before, which is disappointing. Is there anything I can do? Mrs. S. Perm-Donor, Balham. Mrs. Perm-Donor, your husband ha...
Read full storyPresident Trump Bans Spoof Stories About Himself
US President Donald Trump, has addressed the US press corps at the White House this afternoon, and has placed a full and complete ban on ALL spoof stories about himself, especially ones that portray him in a bad light. Mr Trump claims he tired of...
Read full storyTrump Unveiled As Subject Of New Book: 'Where's Trumpo?'
Fans of the children's puzzle book series 'Where's Waldo?' will be interested in a new publication along the same lines, for readers of all ages, featuring the President of the United States, Donald Trump, entitled 'Where's Trumpo?' In the origina...
Read full storySatan Uncomfortable With Overwhelming Success
In a candid one-on-one interview, Satan, the prince of darkness and ruler of all seven circles of Hell, confirmed that he is uncomfortable with the overwhelming success he’s acheived in the realm of mortals. While his influence had always been preval...
Read full storyStock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.
The stock market went up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down. It then rose before dropping. This was quickly followed by an increase, which was interrupted by a fall. The market then went up, then back down. It went up, down, u...
Read full storySatan Resigns
The CEO of the underworld released a short statement this morning: I hereby announce my resignation, not because I've done anything wrong, mind you, but because my work here is done. My bucket list for the world is complete. They say it's best...
Read full storyRussians Hack Florida Elections-O.J. Simpson is New Governor of Florida
Tallahassee, FL Florida elections officials announced today that they had solid evidence that the recent Florida elections were hacked. They point to the fact that O.J. has become the new Governor. "O.J. Simpson wasn't even on the ballot. The fact...
Read full story