NYC's Annual 5th Ave Parades Rerouted
Due to presidential security concerns, multiple major New York parades will not be passing by Trump Tower on 5th Avenue during the course of his presidency. Security advisors deem it too unsafe to manage such large crowds in front of the President's...
Read full storyCongress Designates Daily Presidential Twitter-Time
In an effort to assist business and world leaders in managing their commerce and diplomacy more effectively, Congress has passed a law effective for the course of the upcoming presidency. The law designates presidential tweets will be released once a...
Read full storyTo Kill, or not to Kill: Kim Jong Un
South Korea have admitted (what we all knew) that they have a special team trained and ready to go: To kill North Korean midget of evil Kim Jong Un. Despite the fact that he looks like the kid who would smugly answer all the questions in a Geograp...
Read full storyWhat the Swiss are Missing
When we think of Switzerland, what springs to mind? Our imagination fills with a plethora, of awesome, sweeping, giant ice-capped mountains, with deep forested, green valleys, strewn with little log havens. Men stuck up mountains, blowing each other'...
Read full storyTime is a Changing - Scientists claim an instant is now shorter
The length of an instant has just become shorter, according to scientists. Researchers in Austria and Germany measured the smallest time interval recorded, and found it lasted a ten million billionth of a second. It's about ten times shorter than the...
Read full storyNHS Bless This Mess
The PM, Teresa May, emerged from her fortress of darkness to press upon the huddled masses that the NHS was not on the verge of a humanitarian crisis. The sky cracked with lightning and thunder rolled through the scene creating a atmosphere of malevo...
Read full storyPutin hacks Brexit plans
Yes, he's at it again. After successfully steering the US election in his favour by ensuring hackers released - or fabricated - dubious emails of the Democrat Hillary Clinton, swinging voters towards Donald Trump, the Russian President has now launch...
Read full storyLet It Shite
The BBC's latest singing talent show left many viewers confused over it's complicated format. Dozens of people with little else to do with their lives took to social media to complain about it. Gerald Smith said: What's all this about then? Mi...
Read full storyTESCO PJ Problem
A man has finally come out and exclaimed what were all thinking....no nothing about your rash or what cream you should use. Fucks sake it's not all about you. He posted a picture of two women idily roaming through the giant food depositary that i...
Read full storyGlobal warming threatens freezing Europe!
After years of warming up, the globe has proven once again that advocates of desert doom all are right, by freezing half of Europe! From Reykjavik to Istanbul layers upon layers of snow and ice have been causing chaos as European inhabitants come...
Read full storyDr Farquar and Happy Hour
Happy Hour? Only forty odd years ago the minimum drinking age was 21 years. Pubs opened and shut with strict split second timing. Drunken or antisocial behaviour were not tolerated. The 'Off licence' was the only place you could get alcohol out of pub hours. On a Sunday morning, it was impossible to get alcohol. Now we have access to booze 24-7. Supermarkets. Nightclubs. Duty free 'booze cr...
Read full storyMalaysian Flight MH370 Finally Found in Man's Basement
Doomed Malaysian Airlines flight MH370, missing since March of 2014, has finally been found in a Clearwater, Florida man's basement. The flight consisting of 12 crew members and 277 passengers was thought to have crash landed in the Indian Ocean som...
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