Let It Shite

Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 8 January 2017

The BBC's latest singing talent show left many viewers confused over it's complicated format. Dozens of people with little else to do with their lives took to social media to complain about it.

Gerald Smith said: What's all this about then?

Milly Davis went with: This is confusing.

Before Mark Allbach weighed in with: This isn't why I voted Brexit!
We need Farage in here ASAP he knows how to get things done.

Due to the fact we don't own a TV and can't watch a reality TV show without throwing up blood from our eyes, we got in touch with one of the producers. Or a tea boy. Either way.

He explained: The process is dead simple. All contestants were selected from a boot camp three years ago and put through their paces in a series of Olympic style events in a reality TV show that was only shown on Georgian TV. Then Gary Barlow will bring them into sing for him. The singing will begin but is a secondary consideration on how good Gary and the other judges look and sound. The floor will then start to rotate and the judges will flash random stars up whenever they feel like it. The amount of stars a performer receives is no reflection on if they're going to win. The floor will then rotate with every rotation equivalent to one vote a performer has received from the public. We won't give you the phone number but we will give you a hash tag. After the hash tag votes have been counted, re counted and eventually disregarded the remaining contestants will be placed in the "room". The lights will be turned on and off while Gary Barlow tells the viewers how best to avoid tax on their earnings. Then there will be a big celebration with lots of shrieking and someone will throw a bunch of cats on stage to distract the viewers and a winner will be announced. They will appear on other reality TV shows before fading into obscurity and working in Staples.

Dead simple really.

Most of these carbon copy of each other singing shows do about as much to enrich out nations culture as eating a 80year olds arse hair but this one seems to one up. Seemingly as much fun as a wank with barbed wire but with only half the end product expect this to be given more BBC money than the development of any original programming. But who cares right? As long as we get to see celebrities creating celebrities in fucking singing contests

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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