9th Circle of Hell or No 10 Downing Street: Politics of Trust Makes Much Needed Return to UK
A British Politician has set out his unifying principle of bring the trust back into British Political Life. "And its because I am so completely trustworthy," says the unidentified politician, "that I am just the man for this particular role."...
Read full storyKid Makes Nuclear Bomb Out of Vegetable Soup
Sterling, Virginia boy, Hank Incendiary, has managed to cultivate the latent radiation in vegetable soup and use it to assemble a nuclear bomb. Using a homemade radiation absorption brush built from pieces of Lego, Hank managed to accumulate 20 lbs...
Read full storyNorth Korea Travel Guide
Pyongyang, DPRK This is the Official Guide to Travel in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Very Important Rules: 1. Remember that the reason you are allowed to visit the Utopia of Earth, North Korea, is through the benevolence of our Supreme Leader, grandson of the Eternal Leader and son of the Dear Leader, Kim Jong-Un. Always remember to sing his praises while you are on his soil an...
Read full storyFamily of High School Senior Ready to Decide Her Future
The family of local high school senior Sophia Carmichael is bewildered by the stress and anxiety the young woman faces while trying to make a decision about her future. "I really just don't understand what all the trouble is," says Jenny Carmichae...
Read full storyBoris Joins Labour
Boris Johnson has joined the Labour Party. He told reporters that he was going to apply for the leadership of the Party as soon as Jeremy Corbyn made way for him. 'He should do the decent thing' said Boris 'resign and leave the field for me.' Mome...
Read full storyYou Gotta Believe the Mets Are Damned
Most fans of baseball believed the Mets' acquisition of Yoenis Cespides for the playoff stretch run of 2015 nothing short of a miracle. Hitting at a .287 clip with 17 home runs and 44 runs batted in, the Cuban outfielder instantly added the offensiv...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Will Start Writing the Song First, Then Meet and Break Up With Next Boyfriend
Beverly Hills, CA Taylor Swift announced that because she is getting behind on her music contracts, she will start writing and recording the songs in advance that she writes about meeting new guys and getting her heart broken. With the new arrang...
Read full storyJehovah's Witnesses to Combine With The Family (Children of God)
Warwick, NY The Jehovah's Witnesses announced today that they will be merging with the group The Family, formerly known as the Children of God. "We have been looking at ways to let people know about the coming Armageddon that we've changed the dat...
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