Warwick, NY The Jehovah's Witnesses announced today that they will be merging with the group The Family, formerly known as the Children of God.
"We have been looking at ways to let people know about the coming Armageddon that we've changed the date for about 16 times. We think we will try the "flirty fishing" that worked so well for the Family until it didn't," remarked a Jehovah's Witnesses spokesperson.
"Now that we have merged, we are working out a new date (again) for Armageddon and the Rapture. We are almost positively certain that we will get the date right this time!" spoke the spokesman.