Neurologist: Cam Newton has damaged Haberdashery cortex
Dr. Ralph Beekman, department head of Admiral university's famed Brain trauma institute is also a season ticket holder to the Carolins Panthers. In his expert opinion Cam Newton "has sustained an unusually high number of semi-concussions this year t...
Read full storyHillary Wins All Electoral Votes Due to Recount Based on IQ
In a stunning development Hillary Clinton has won 100% of the Electoral College votes. Not since George Washington's first two terms has any president won in this fashion. It all started when Hillary tweeted Donald, "I may have lost but my voters a...
Read full storyTexas Legislature Orders Sperm Emissions to be Buried or Creamated
AUSTIN--Gov. Greg Abbott signed into law what the Texas legislature has deemed the "Save Our Sperm Law," which, Abbott said after signing the legislation, "will give voice to the unconcepted among us." The new law (in part an addition to Texas Adm...
Read full storyNew Book Released By Trump; Autograph Signing to be held at UCLA
President-elect Donald Trump announced on twitter last night that he was going to release a new book titled "How to Become a Billionaire President, The Donald Trump Story." He tweeted all about how excited he was about the new book, and how it would...
Read full storyTwenty ways you can tell if your man is going "Gropensteinian"
So neither you nor your significant other voted. You were going to, but just didn't have the time. After working all day, getting your nails done after work, then after a tough workout at the gym, you were just too exhausted to go to the voti...
Read full storyJimmy Savile Fan Club Ends as Last Member's Membership Lapses
London, England The Jimmy Savile Fan Club, which once boasted thousands of members, including celebrities such as Penn State football coach Jerry Ferguson, former New York Giants player Lawrence Taylor, Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle, Woody Allen,...
Read full storyTrump Buys Asteroid Belt, Will Name Them All After Cabinet Rejects
Science Town, USA Donald Trump, President-Elect of the United States and self-professed Billionaire, has just announced that he has purchased the asteroid belt located between Mars and Jupiter in our Solar System. "I know it seems a bit extravaga...
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