Written by wasabiphil

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

image for Hillary Wins All Electoral Votes Due to Recount Based on IQ

In a stunning development Hillary Clinton has won 100% of the Electoral College votes. Not since George Washington's first two terms has any president won in this fashion. It all started when Hillary tweeted Donald, "I may have lost but my voters are smarter than your voters." Donald, of course, tweeted back, "No there not." later corrected to "No they're not." Hillary tweeted back, "Yes they are." This went on for some time, ending only when Hillary suggested that they add up all the IQ scores for their respective voters and divide by 100 to determine the number of votes they each received normalized for intelligence. Donald had to think about this awhile, then he cunningly suggested they do it by state, presumably thinking he would keep his electoral vote advantage. Donald was so confident that he told all his delegates to honor the results.

This massive undertaking was performed by a bipartisan group of statisticians with an average IQ of 160. It was completed just in time to present the results to the Electoral College delegates who when confronted with the results were obligated to vote for Hillary.

The way this worked was quite interesting for the states which voted overwhelmingly for Trump. For example, in Mississippi, Trump received 700,714 votes to Hillary's 485,131--a 60/40 split. However, the average Trump voter's IQ turned out to be 79, whereas the average Hillary voter's IQ was 121. Doing the math, this resulted in 553,564 IQ adjusted votes for Trump vs 587,009 IQ adjusted votes for Hillary. in every other state the results were the same, leading to an overwhelming victory for Clinton.

Clinton, realizing that this "deal" made by Trump would result in ironclad Democratic control of the government from this day forward made the gracious gesture of naming Trump ambassador to Russia.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Hillary Clinton

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