Obama Tackles Fluoridation
President Barack Obama is considering acting against the fluoridation of drinking water in the US. Almost seventy percent of the nation's household water supply is currently fluoridated despite the mounting evidence that it is actually injurious to h...
Read full storyPresident has unusual tastin' semen
Washington AC/DC - All hell broke loose in the White House this morning after someone ejaculated over Barack Obama's cupcake turning the candy sprinkles green. Secret service detectives immediately quarantined the foaming confection in case Pluto...
Read full storyMystery banker found near university campus baffles cops
Toronto, Canada - A mysterious banker has been found by police close to a York University campus underground tunnel. Police say they are baffled. Early reports suggest he was discovered in a secluded wooded area by a conservation officer who sa...
Read full storySwedes "fowl names" are for the birds, NAACP says
OVER THERE -- Sweden, a member in good standing of The League of White Supremacist Nations, has ordered its ornithologists (birdbrained experts) to rename fowl that have been given "foul names" by Swedish birdwatchers over the years. "The names ar...
Read full storyMagnet-fishing kids find huge IRA arms haul
Somerset Levels, UK - A massive arsenal of IRA weapons including AK-47s, MI6 assault rifles and a Sherman tank has been found by teenagers at the bottom of a British river bed. 13 year-olds Bob Piranna and Warren Nuckles were magnet-fishing on th...
Read full story'Potella' jar sparks lethal blaze that destroys family home
Colorado Springs, USA - An empty jar of the yummy cannabis, chocolate and pistachio nut paste 'Potella' is suspected of being behind the total destruction of a family home. Forensic investigators say the six bedroom property and a family dog were...
Read full storyDizney World: it's not for everyone, not anymore
ORLANDO'S BLOOM -- For millions of Americans, times are hard, but, apparently, Mickey Mouse could care less. He has ordered Dizney World admission ticket prices to skyrocket to a whopping $1,500--not per family, mind you, but per "guest," inc...
Read full storyStudy Shows Fox News Viewers Are Dysfunctional
A new study by the Institute For Audience Analysis shows that Fox News viewers do not have the brains or lifestyles that would enable them to understand the balanced news reporting in The other Sunday news programs: Broadcast Sunday Morning News S...
Read full storyMarble Madness Blows Man's Mind, Ruins Life
Video game enthusiast, Billy Mitchell says that Marble Madness (released in December 1984 by Atari) is responsible for ruining his life, and quite possibly driving him into a state of psychosis. "The game was a joy to play at first," Mitchell ex...
Read full storyBri Willyums: "I'll be bok!"
Bri Willyums, late of NBC, Proud as a Peacock, is known to play fast and loose, from time to time (and maybe all the time) with the truth, so his statements, especially about himself, have to be taken with a grain (or a ton) of salt. Having remind...
Read full storyQueen Defends The Fabulous
The Queen of the Purple Isles has hit back at suggestions that The Fabulous should be banned from socialising with so-called 'Ordinaries'. Harry Rump of the Roundguts claimed that The Fabulous are a bizarre group who differ on every conceivable so...
Read full storyUKIP Offers Voters Marmite
UKIP has taken to the streets of Britain, handing out free jars of marmite to passers-by as a goodwill gesture to potential voters. In the run-up to the election, the party is determined to ensure it remains in the political race. UKIP original...
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