UKIP Offers Voters Marmite

Funny story written by lukejay

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

UKIP has taken to the streets of Britain, handing out free jars of marmite to passers-by as a goodwill gesture to potential voters.

In the run-up to the election, the party is determined to ensure it remains in the political race.

UKIP originally referred to as UKIIP (UK Idiocy and Ignorance Party) is well-known for its fantastical ideology and the outrageous claims made by some of its most senior members.

The Opposition previously viewed the party as political Neanderthals, but is now known to be holding condiment crisis talks in lieu of their latest stunt.

Amidst controversy in relation to its anti-extra-terrestrial and anti-unicorn policies, the party has festered contempt for its tendency to break Pinky Promises and hard-line promotion of the Naughty Step.

Members of the public were seemingly perplexed by the party's attempted good deed, with builder Brian Wall stating: 'Marmite! Blooming marmite?! If they really want to get people on side, they need to be handing out sachets of brown sauce.'

UKIP leader Nickel Forage has said of the party's actions: 'We as a political force could see no better way of enticing the public join our side, than distributing the one substance more detestable than ourselves.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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