The party's over for Scots Gnats as coast guards seize $750m of incoming cocaine
Aberdeen, Scotland - A tip-off from anonymous foreign intelligence sauces has seen the seizure of three tons of Colombian cocaine bound for the euphoric Scottish general election market. The bust is the biggest in local living memory and leaves th...
Read full storyBernie Sanders Is Running for President of The People's Republic of Amerika
MONTPELIOR, VT - Senator Bernie Sanders will seek the Democratic Party's nomination for President of The People's Republic of Amerika, pitting him against the heavily favored former secretary of state Hillary Clinton, who has her sights set on being...
Read full storyNew Coalition?
In a televised 7 minute statement David Cameron and Ed Milliband have declared their love for each other and have announced they will marry after the election. The relationship grew in strength after being forced to stare into each other's eyes th...
Read full storyObama Announces Free Ice Cream for Low-Income Children
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama will go to one of Washington's poorest neighborhoods to talk about a plan to give low-income children free ice cream. "If we're serious about living up to what our country is about, then we have to consider what we...
Read full storyRafa's Service Routine May Be Pooh Related, Doctor's Say.
Madrid, Spain - In sport, amateurs and pro players alike, will often stick with any strange ritual that is working for them, and it certainly doesn't seem like champion tennis star, Rafael Nadal, will be giving up his well-documented little OCD routi...
Read full storyFree Viagra for all deserving cases as Brit Top Knobs slug it out for votes
London - Bankers' bonuses in the City of London will be part-paid in Viagra and part in cash in a brand new election initiative by the Conservatives. London-based Hard Times austerity think tank reported today the policy will see bankers able to...
Read full storyAtomic Bomb Ends Conflict in Baltimore
Out of an abundance of caution, a nuclear weapon was detonated in Baltimore after days of angry protests and riots crippled the city and damaged several properties. Working together, the local police and National Guard decided an atomic bomb was the...
Read full story