Limbaugh Hoisted Up On Own Petard
Speaking on Ohio State's new sexual assault policy, conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh had his own ideas of what consent to sex means. "How many guys, in your own experience with women, have learned that no means yes if you know how to spot it?...
Read full storyCongressional Inquiry Finds That Spending More Than You Make Can Contribute To Financial Difficulties
Washington D.C. - A recently concluded inquiry by a joint Senate and House committee has concluded that spending more money than you make could be a contributing factor to having financial difficulties. The inquiry lasted two years and cost an es...
Read full story11-Year-Old Attacks Obama In Schoolroom
President Obama, taking a break from his war against ISIS, visited Oakmont Charter School in VA. to show his support for innovative education. The school enrollees include children of diplomats, one of whom is 11-year-old extremely precocious Janna...
Read full storyLocal Teen Wants More People To Not Get Him: Wants to be more mysterious
Cumberland, MN - A local teenager is frustrated that not more people don't get him and don't consider him a brooding deep-thinker who they find intriguingly mysterious. Austin Smithers, 17, who is a junior at Walter Mondale High School in Cumberl...
Read full storyUS numerologists predict Scots Nationalists will lose by 911,000 votes
New York - Number crunchers at a hush-hush US federal agency are betting on making a shedload of $$$s out of Thursday's Scottish independence vote. At odds of 911/1 with online spread betting site Aintgottaprayer.con their million bucks punt says...
Read full storyNFL's Goodell Speaks On New Peterson Revelation
Minnesota Vikings Adrian Peterson, already facing felony charges in Texas for child abuse, was accused in a separate incident involving another son who was 4 years old. In that case Peterson inflicted a head wound on his son, who was in a car seat,...
Read full storyObama to deploy 3,000 doctors to combat ISIL
WASHINGTON, DC - The United States announced on Tuesday it will send 3,000 doctors to help combat the Islamic terrorist group, ISIL, as part of a ramped-up plan, including a major deployment in Syria. The U.S. response to the crisis, to be formall...
Read full storyGay student won't stand in straight line
When Dylan White's 4th grade teacher, Cheryl Glands, asked him to stand in a straight line before gym class last week, he answered her: "No." White, who is openly homosexual, said he refuses to be, "Coerced into societally-constructed sexual comp...
Read full storyBruce's Retirement Hobby - Being On Strictly Come Dancing Every Week
"I just can't leave it alone and its even worse when I'm bored" Bruce Forsyth told a delegation of International Television Producers yesterday. He was referring of course to Strictly Come Dancing and not his Dick. Bruce is very fond of Dick, his Coc...
Read full storyChurch of Scamatology Says It Can Prove Clams Were the First Life
Clearwater, FL The Church of Scamatology announced today that they had solid scientific proof that the first life on Earth were clams. Most scientists, and consequently science books, have apparently missed this major fact. The Scamatologist's sci...
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