Christmas Puddings to be used in Seasonal Training
Manchester United, Liverpool, and Glasgow Celtic are to test- drive Christmas Puds instead of a leather ball, in December Training Sessions. Apart from the obvious festive aspect, the soft texture of the cooked sphere, will challenge...
Read full storyThanksgiving Day bloodbath on the cards
Washington DC - White House tarot readers are urging calling off Thursday's annual dinner after the No 16 Major Arcana card, Thanksgiving Day Bloodbath, appeared in the President's ten card spread. The omen was enough to spook Michelle Obama into...
Read full storyOut Of Control Obama Uses Ridicule
NEW YORKBroadly smiling, if not giddy, President Obama held a news conference today on the White House lawn. At his last press conference, speaking about the issue of "fracking," he seemed to be scatterbrained, capricious, and distracted. At toda...
Read full storyFerguson learns valuable lesson: Don't announce bad news at night
Ferguson, Mo. - Businesses were ablaze and bullets flew overhead throughout the night in Ferguson as officials chose the late evening as the best time to announce that a white police officer would not be indicted in the shooting of an unarmed black t...
Read full storyMove By Cameron To Target "Can't Be Bothered" Party
The newly formed "Apathy" party which sprung up almost overnight via social networking websites came in for a slamming by David Cameron at a meeting of The Conservative Party in Scunthorpe Working Men's club last night. "Apathy is endemic in our poli...
Read full storyRNC Chairman Tells Black America to Accept Ferguson Decision and Shut Up; Also Announces 9th Benghazi Investigation
It's been a mixed weekend for conservatives, fitting as they always seem to be mixed up. Republican National Committee chairman Reince Preibus held a press conference today to discuss the weekend's events. The conference started with Preibus prai...
Read full storyThousands Of Turkeys To Be Shot At Buckingham Palace For Prince Philip's Testimonial Shoot
Buckingham Palace will be the venue for this year's Royal Christmas Eve Turkey Shoot. Prince Philip will fire a cannon to disturb 5000 turkeys, making them fly as easy targets across the special garden party arsenal of armed toffs. This year's...
Read full storyIllegals Nationwide Self-Deport, Apologize for Inconvenience
LOS ANGELES, CA - All across the country, exasperated illegal immigrants have decided en masse to self-deport themselves in light of the political burden they realize they have become for both political parties. The movement has no single leader...
Read full storySorry Ladies, Charles Manson Is About to be Taken Off the Market
CORCORAN, CA - In case you haven't heard, Charles Manson is about to get married. That's right, single ladies, if you liked him then you should've put a ring on it. Now, all the Monday morning quarterbacking starts on 'what could have been' for...
Read full storyBoris Says "Yes, I did steal the Manhole cover, but it wasn't a leadership coup in disguise"
Boris Johnson has admitted that he was the cheeky prankster who stole a manhole cover from outside David Cameron's Downing Street House, but he denies trying to remove him from Power. The announcement came after David Cameron was tonight to hospi...
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