Demi Moore's $75m San Remo triplex is haunted
New York - She's finally doing a runner amid reports of a ghost creeping her out at the lavish Central Park West apartment, part of the stunning Emery Roth-designed Art Deco building. Today New York Toast sources said the San Remo triplex has just...
Read full storyThe Queen is going bonkers at Rolf Harris sordid sex trial
London - She's been told to take it easy as alleged old perv Rolf Harris slugs it out in the dock at London's Central Criminal Court this week. The octogenarian Oz entertainer has been charged with stuff despite being appointed Royal Pissartist -...
Read full storyBeing a cross dresser is traditional
Recently, transgender and transvestite (hereafter called trans) individuals have been lambasted by so-called Christian sects in the US as being against God, and yet, proof has emerged that being a cross dresser pre-dates Jesus. "It's in the old te...
Read full storyHalal tap water causes outrage
First it was Subway that was selling halal meat, then Pizza Express, now it turns out halal produce is everywhere, including the water coming out of British taps. "This is an outrage," said Nick Farage, head of UKIP. "Why isn't this on the news?...
Read full storyClinton always knew Monica Lewinsky was Vince Foster's daughter
Washington DC - "First time the President put his sherbet dipper inside that smiley-face cup cake, he knew," an archivist at the Clinton Mammorial Library & Museum said today, "probably made for a big chunk of the whole damn thrill." The comm...
Read full storyLocal Businessman Commits Suicide After It Took Him 16 Minutes To Save 14%
Bloomington, IL - A Bloomington man was found dead yesterday, apparently the victim of a fatal self-inflicted paper cut. Lowell D. Ductible, a senior accountant with Smith & Wesson, was found in the family room of his home by his live-in lands...
Read full storySatan Responds To Complaints of Poor WiFi Coverage In Hell
Responding to the growing complaints about Hell's sketchy wireless coverage, Satan issued an internal memo this week pointing out what he believes should be brutally obvious to even the most narcissistic damned - you're in Hell. The tone of the me...
Read full storyPresident Obama Adopts NBA Constitution
In a bold move signaling his dedication to pushing through his agenda in his remaining time in office, President Obama's Press Secretary announced today the signing of a new Executive Order, dubbed "Governmental Reorganization to Provide Economic Inc...
Read full storyLiverpool set for glory despite missing out on Premier League title
The moment Steven Gerrard failed to control a team-mates' pass in Liverpool's game against Chelsea, almost two weeks ago now, Liverpool's title dreams went up in flames. Their misery was further compounded when they failed to secure all three points...
Read full storyProgressives' Shopper Mart - The Premier E-tailing Site for Fully Enlightened Ideologues
Here are some of the most desired items for those of you in elite political cliques who know who you are and espouse only the most enlightened ideas of utopian thought. Shop today and impress your friends at the next exclusive cocktail party! These...
Read full storyOkay, who wants to burn down the Palace?
London, England. In news slowly ripping, burning and tearing, may be even breaking, Lib-Dems supporters have urged their parliamentarian representatives to introduce a Bill to legalise wilful destruction of prominent public buildings. These "neo-anar...
Read full storyDonald Sterling condemns North Korea's Obama 'monkey' insult
LOS ANGELES, CA - LA Clippers owner, Donald Sterling has condemned descriptions in North Korean state media of President Obama as a "crossbreed" and a "wicked black monkey". Mr. Sterling's spokeswoman, Sno White, said the comments were "ugly and d...
Read full story'American Idol' Becomes Proving Ground for Future Politicians After Aiken Congressional Run
Los Angeles - Ryan Seacrest announced this morning that, due to former American Idol finalist Clay Aiken's close results in his bid to win a congressional seat in North Carolina, the show would transition to a clearinghouse for all future politic...
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